Your Heart Knows
Recently I was suffering from a broken heart. I felt loss, grief, anger, distrust, sadness, fear, loneliness, hopelessness… so many things. All of these were hidden beneath a general sense of anxiety, topped off with a heavy layer of disassociation. I knew all of these emotions lay beneath this protective wall of disassociation but felt at a loss as to how to access it. My heart had put on it’s armour yet I could not carry on with the weight of it. I asked my guides, “How do I get back to where I was? When my heart felt free and light, like breath?” They said, “You don’t have to do anything. Let it lead you. Your heart knows.”
The next day I sat out in the garden surrounded by green, the colour of the heart. It’s richness pulls me, you see. I held my hand on my heart and listened to my heartbeat. I breathed into my heart. “I am with you.” I felt the wall. It was heavy and burned. “I am with you.” I kept breathing. Eventually my heart said, “I’m angry.” So, I breathed. “I can’t believe this happened.” I felt the familiar tinge of heartbreak, just gently, cracking on the surface. “I’m sorry this happened to you”, I told my heart.
The feeling came back and I felt some of the weight lift. I still feel some of the weight but I know it is okay to not be ready yet.
Your heart knows. You know. You don’t always need a process. You don’t always need a guide. You and your heart are the greatest teacher, guide, healer for you in your reality. Even just the intention to feel where you then find you aren’t ready yet, that is enough for now. That is beautiful and healing too because it is an action of self love to respect and have patience for your healing process.
Everything you truly need is within you, an external guide or teacher is only ever there to remind you of what is already your highest truth within you. THE most perfect, THE greatest transformation takes place when you allow yourself to be present with you exactly as you are.
You are ecstatic beauty.