The following illuminations were experienced as result of my deep yearning to understand distrust, fear, why we harm one another and ourselves and how we can stop.
May we find peace and harmony with one another through all of the wondrous, miraculous and purifying unity that we each hold within.
The Call to Unity
The Inner Divide
All humans have two opposing aspects of themselves within them: the aspect of them that wants to trust, and the aspect that wants to distrust. Inherent in human connection is a core feeling of unsafety.
This unsafety and this distrust are one and the same.
When we query as to why this dynamic is present: It is the fact that we feel separate from one another. And that we feel separate from ourself – god.
We are each an individuation (ego). We do not consistently, tangibly, always have experiential awareness of the Oneness that we truly are because we have ego. When we are not connected to this Oneness that we are, there will always be a subtle part of us (ego) that feels threatened by connection to others. This is because the ego fears unity. Unity and therefore connection (with others, with life, with oneself, all connection) can feel innately unsafe to it. Our ego holds this fear because it knows that in face of union, it will cease to be.
And. It is the ego’s fear of demise that really is the seed of all fear.
When we look deeply and simply: there is this one aspect of our being that wants UNITY (trusting – the Love Essence, the Divine, God in you) and one aspect of us that wants SEPARATION (distrusting – the Individuation, Ego). The desire for unity is the desire and pull into one’s own spirit, the search to understand and know god, and the urge to connect intimately with others. The desire for separation is the fear and distrust towards others and, it is the fear and struggle we have with being fully present, with being still, with being in and existing as the Divine Potential Emptiness that we are – the fear of god/ourself.
To Create Unity
To truly heal, to know our divine self and connect, we must invite the ego to have experiences of unity that feel safe to it. This can occur in small doses – whether that is within human relationships and creating intimacy within them, or within our relationship with Source within and creating intimacy with it.
The degree of intimacy that we feel with others, is the degree of intimacy that our ego feels with Source. The degree of intimacy that we feel with our most authentic, true self is the degree of intimacy that our ego feels with the true divine self and with others. All of our sense of connection is inextricably interlinked. This is the nature of our fundamental Oneness.
We must lovingly show our ego that even though she fears being consumed and losing herself into Oneness, it is simultaneously the very thing that she wants, because, in that losing of herself, she will find that it is not a true losing of herself. She will find that she actually is that Oneness, she has simply forgotten. The loss of the individuated self is union with the divine self, and yet it does not truly entail ‘loss’ but rather, a re-integrating of self back into the more of herself she has always been, back into what has been missing from her. When the ego is exposed to that Oneness, it is a reminder to her. It is a reminder of what she has always been. The fear, pain, resistance that first arises for her is only the noticing that the divine has been missing from her. It is triggering her sense of grief and loss of her Greater Self. If this can be gently, lovingly and simply held, eventually what arises from it is the remembering. Ego slowly (sometimes quickly!) transforms and remembers her true, lost identity of The Divine. This occurs as the painful illusion of separation releases. This is that re-integration of ego into the Divine.
We need to hold space for ego to realise that unity is truly only the gaining back of what she feels she has lost – her true, divine self. Hold space and patience for her to realise that the end of beliefs, thoughts and identities, illusions that fall away, does not mean true end. The idea that you can end – that which seeds her fear of death – is not real. This is the insight the ego deeply yearns to know. Release of this illusion will allow her to easily accept and return to her true nature. It is the relief of her fear and thus all her resistance. Indeed unity may FEEL like death but we must let ego know that it is not death as she conceives it… Lovingly let her know this wonderful news that you cannot cease to be!
The greater divine truths that ego’s journey into separation has given to the universe will also merge into her Greater self, not end.
The trouble for ego is that she has become so attached and identified, forgotten into the play of illusory identity, that she believes she is only her illusions. Remind ego that her belief does not make it so. It is only that her belief is causing her to FEEL that it IS so.
And that is how and why we must be gentle, slow, and loving with ego – the aspect of us that distrusts and lives in fear.
– And, gentle, slow and loving with one another.
Remember that everyone else’s ego is your ego also. It is reflection, but even that is synonymous with… you.
Others are nothing but always and completely intertwined with you. We are a unified being, no matter how much our illusion of individuation convinces us otherwise. WE make up GOD, that is, the entirety of YOU. You are not one but rather, many beings all at once. It is together that we are god. Alone we are indeed a fractal of the whole and thus whole in our own right. But together is our highest form as collective god, the One essence…. unified.
Safe Union with Nature
There is a very interrelated reason that people who have had a lot of struggle or trauma within relationships tend to feel safer in their connections with animals or plants – It is because of our (usually) unconscious awareness that such beings have much less of an individuated consciousness. We can feel that animals and plants hold a frequency that is closer to unity. This may sound contradictory in that I have stated that unity is the very thing that often causes ego to feel unsafe, but interestingly, that lack of resistance, that lack of fear that animals and plants have to being One with the unified consciousness, actually causes us to entrain with that same high frequency of lack of fear – otherwise known as TRUST. This can occur to such a degree that we move away and out of our ego, and closer to our divine perspective, when exposed to such beings’ energy.
When we are actually in our divine perspective, we do not hold resistance to unity. We are it. It is then such that the ego can have a safe experience of being held in unity. It can feel itself not losing, but becoming more, when joined by other beings (becoming intimate) who trust in unity. In this way, animals, plants and minerals are great teachers and healers.
The most painful thing about being human is the way that we run from what we want.
Our ego consistently attempts to feed itself with things that it can identify with or attach to in order to keep itself alive. If it cannot feel itself through external things, it does not feel itself as alive or existing. Accordingly, the internal experience of self is what it does not want because it is there, in stillness of only Presence, that it begins to feel itself ‘dying’. Ego needs it’s externalised sense of identity to know that is IS. When not focused on this, it will feel, and in actuality will, lose connection with ‘itself’.
And so, we run. We run from that union of Source within in order to avoid ‘death‘, as equally as we yearn for it.
What ego is attempting to find is it’s greater self… a true, real sense of aliveness and assuredness of ‘I am‘. But no amount of external identification is enough. The more ego identifies and attaches externally and feels temporarily safe in that sanctuary of ‘identity’, the more it is caused to notice it’s feelings of dissatisfaction, discontent and grief that exist within it. And so, this is the cycle of suffering: the endless attempt of ego to run from that discontent, but experiencing that every attempt to run from it all actually worsens the pain. As each identification eventually shows it’s temporary nature, ego experiences a worsening of it’s pain. Though ego feels it as a ‘worsening’ it is really just increased and increased awareness of the painful nature of its existence. Here we see that ego lives in a state of pain.
If you try to destroy the ego, or view it as ‘bad’, as many do in our spiritual community, you do not understand nor help it’s suffering. There can be no healing of suffering through anything but Love. Do not attempt to eradicate your ego, or anyone else’s. Do not add to our collective pain. Add Love through absolutely compassionate understanding of ego’s plight and offering her gentle invitation for stillness where she will (eventually) find even greater contentment than that which she craves, a greater contentment than she can currently conceive of. Offer ego small and safe-feeling experiences of unity, presence, nothingness, god.
Let ego see that what it yearns for is waiting in the absence of itself that it runs from.
Let ego see that even it’s perception of absence or death of itself, is just another illusion it adopted in order to cope with it’s core loss. This core loss is the very same thing that caused ego to come into individuation and is the essence of individuation: The perspective of separation from Source.
Our ego is attempting to cope with the most painful thing.
It is the core and only pain – the great loss of awareness of connection with Source and ALL that It is: contentment, unity, wholeness, love. And this that ego feels so separate from and even runs from is simultaneously all that ego, you the individuation, truly desire.
Ego is the aspect of you that needs the greatest, wise compassion and the greatest love.
It is in the greatest pain and the greatest grief.
Ego is the aspect in others that needs the greatest, wise compassion and the greatest love.
Their ego is in the greatest pain and the greatest grief.
Ego has the same desires as you: to feel complete and know itself as God. It just does not know it.
Your heart is my heart.
My heart is your heart.
Your mess is mine.