I didn’t understand the girls because I didn’t understand the feminine energy in me. More than that, I rejected the feminine in me.
I was never able to relate to notions of ‘sisterhood’, ‘needing girl time’, even feminism… anything that related to division of the sexes, I didn’t see the purpose… I didn’t see the purpose of the feminine energy in me.
From last year I have had a few opportunities to connect with real, strong, groups of women. For the first time this year, I learnt what it meant to have ‘sisters’. For the first time, I learned not to feel completely terrified and confused when surrounded by only other women. Tonight I returned from a gathering of women and I felt the once ineffable to me nurturing energy of the feminine spirit.
I felt and feel a deeper connection to myself and an enhanced awareness of what it means to be embodied as a woman in this life, at this time. What it means to be incarnate as a woman in this time is that something is lost. The masculine energy that has woven the foundation of our society is designing much of the imbalance, the sickness in it. As women we are here, but we are here in a man’s world. And I don’t mean it in this cliche phrase of, ‘oh, it’s a man’s world out there’. I mean that literally, masculine energy is dominating the energetic structure of our society, and so as a woman, resonance of collective feminine energy that would, in a better world, be reflecting into our consciousness/energy, is not easily available to us. This resonance, this reflection, is something that is supposed to be available to us. It is the natural order of things, if you consider ‘natural’ to mean a healthful balance of polarities, as most of us do. This resonance is needed in order to inspire growth, awareness and utilisation of feminine energy. This growth, awareness, etc occurs because as beings in a Law of Attraction based universe, what we focus upon, we create.
So, instead of having a natural, ever growing balance of feminine energy within ourselves, we as women of today find ourselves having to put in explicit, conscious effort towards creating opportunities where we will feel that resonance of feminine energy that we need. We need this resonance in order to have a stable, secure and strong connection to feminine energy itself.
This is not to say that feminine energy is completely absent from society, but. It is only found in small areas and moments. And this is not right.It is only through the contrast of allowing myself to, more than ever before, feel and tap into feminine energy, and feel the well-being, peace, strength of softness, creativity and nourishment of it, that I truly feel and know: it is truly sickness to be disconnected from one’s femininity.Women are disconnected from feminine energy because of the society that we all live in. The society that we live in is disconnected from feminine energy because of the women who are disconnected from their feminine energy who live in it – when noticing a lack of something in a Law of Attraction based world, we must note that this can only be because there is a lack of it within ourselves.
We, the women of today, are living the by-product of ages and ages of oppression, suppression and disregard for true feminine energy. But this that is outside of us can only be reflecting what has occurred within us. We oppress ourselves, we suppress ourselves, we disregard feminine energy. We do this because our mothers did this, so they, and society, could only model this to us. Our mothers did this because their mothers and the society that they lived in did it too. And so on and so on. Not to mention the suppression and trauma of the feminine that is also carried heavily within our DNA.
We do not know what it is to be aligned with feminine energy, to embody it, to embrace it, to celebrate it, to create from it. It is through healing our own oppression, suppression and disregard for our own feminine energy as individuals, that we will transform this world into a balanced place of polar energies.
What do you think or feel about femininity?
Tonight I feel feminine energy as a soft power. It is power that comes from a stillness that is opaque and open, like still water. It is a stillness that says, “I do not need movement to know and be strength. I create what I desire from my receptivity to the natural creativity that is within and all around me. I desire, I know my power of creation, and so, it is.”